Parenting....is it punishment to your kids or to you?
Let me give you an example. I have four teenagers. One in every grade of the High School. Just the time and energy it takes to keep the world flowing for them can be exhausting. We have homework, basketball, ranch life, animals to feed and much much more. That isn't even talking about the hiccups you have to deal with like girlfriend or boyfriend problems, someone being sick, not getting enough sleep, laundry, who likes what for dinner etc.
Parenting can be hard sometimes. I go along trying my best. I want our kids to grow up respectful, responsible and caring people. Sometimes there is a hiccup in the road though. Let me tell you having teens doesn't come with a handbook. It sure would be nice if it did though!
I normally don't have time to blog everyday. Today I have plenty of time. Why? Because I am sitting in class with one of my kids. Yep...you heard me right I am sitting in class with one of my boys right now because we have had a small problem with talking and being disrespectful. It happens....teens go through this....but we had to nip that in the butt.
My kids are great don't get me wrong. I love them all very unconditionally. I also love them all enough to sit through the whole day of school with them to show them that I care about their actions and the reactions that are happening because of it.
I am not here to watch the teachers and they know that. I know they do a great job in teaching our youth. I am here to show my son I care about his behavior. Does he think that right now? Of course not. It's probably the quietest he has been in all the years he has been born.
He told me NUMEROUS times that it won't embarrass him or even change anything. Did I say numerous times.....I do mean numerous. Yet when I say I am going to do something ... I do it. My kids need to know I am serious about what I say. In everything I say. "I love you" I mean it. "Clean your room" I mean it. "Respect is earned" I mean it. "You will not be disrespectful or talk too much in class" I mean it.
I am lucky. I am very lucky actually. I am not having to parent alone. I have a wonderful dedicated husband who we do all our parenting together. We back each other up so our kids don't feel the need to try and play us against each other. It's smart to be on the same side. Easier for you and in he long run easier for the kids.
I am also lucky bec we have co parenting happen. With two of my boys I also have their biological mom helping us. They can't try to run and whine and pit parents against parents. We have a solid relationship and understanding that we all want what is best for the kids. We want them to succeed. We want them to learn and grow from their mistakes as young teens rather than adults when life actually becomes hard. Their are so many divorced parents who it becomes about the other parent and they fight. That isn't in the best interest of the kid.
We are lucky because what one parent says whether the parent...step parent...the parent living with them...or not living with them we all stay on the same page. THAT IS NICE! I am very thankful.
So I am now sitting in my kids class. All day long. Not sure if it's more punishment to him or to me ha! Hopefully he learns from this. Later in life he will see we cared. Right now he probably just thinks we are "lame". Hopefully the lesson is learned because next it will be his other mom coming and next after that my husband will get out of work and come. If we have to sit in the class with him till he gets it....we will. I am not afraid to sit there for a week if I have to.
This just happens to be one instance of one of our children. All our kids make mistakes. It's apart of growing up and learning. We are here though to teach them what is ok and not ok in life though. We try our best. That's all we can do. We love our kids and want them to grow up respectful, responsible and caring.
Sometimes it just might take a try or two or three;)
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Thank you and have a blessed day. ;)
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