MIA....missing in non action?

Ahhhh the glories of a low immune system;) Been in the hospital now for three days going on four. Remember how I said I got sick Super Bowl Sunday? It hasn't gone away. Yeah! Lucky me .....not. :)

By day 9 Ryan took me to ER and they said I had bronchitis and asthma on top of it. Three breathing treatments later and medicines, inhalers etc we were sent home. Next day even though I had been on antibodies for days I felt worse. Being in remission from Cushings Disease I still have low immune system being only 6 months post op from brain surgery. Everything else is a thousand times better though. For that I am so terribly grateful! The sickness part though seems to go on and on for me. End up having to stress dose cortisol (since now it's my friend not my enemy) because sickness eats it up.

I thought I would get better but I just couldn't breathe. Coughing so much and so hard I would vomit. Had to breathe really shallow and talk low to not cough. Felt extremely dizzy and not hungry at all. We ended up going back to the ER mid day since my MD was out of town this week.  They admitted me into the hospital within 40 minutes. I have been here since.....laying in my hospital bed under that ugly pink blanket ha!

Good news is I am getting better. I am so pumped full of steroids right now. 160 mg cortisol daily. Breathing treatments every hour on the hour and some even in between, antibodies and fluids. Now on day three here I am feeling better even more so and have breathing treatments every two hours. I look a wreck but the only time I am up is to go to the bathroom or shower or I am short of breathe.

Something I learned is when you have Cushings that cortisol masks some things like auto immune problems or asthma etc bec the cortisol is naturally so high from the tumor that you just don't know it. So in remission I am finding out I have asthma.....maybe always have had it but it was masked. Well guys......bronchitis and asthma don't mix.....at all. Just trust me on this one haha.

We are on day 12 of being sick I really am feeling bad. Not health wise but bad that my family is having to keep on keeping on without me. I am very lucky to have the husband I have. He is so generous and kind in all ways and knows that this of course is out of my control. He always asks me "well if it were me in your place what would you do?". I would do anything I could of course but I definitely think I would be way more cranky than he is ha! We really lucked out too bec the day I got admitted Grandma Sally (Ryan's mom and my awesome MIL) was coming up to stay with us. It never ceases to amaze me how she just jumps right in and helps and doesn't gripe about it. With my mom in heaven it really makes me think that she somehow has a touch in her that helps Sally to be there for us when we really need it.....along with the fact she would just do it anyways. My mom would always come to the rescue like that. Anything for me or her grand kids....she would make sure that they were being taken care of so Ryan could help take care of me. Ryan and I are both blessed to have those type of ppl in our lives. I may not have my mom but I do have my second mom Sally. Fiesty and Fun.....just like my mom was. Okay seriously now I am crying lol. I will just say that's from only having 3.5 hours of sleep in 3 days ( gotta love that cortisol....not).

I am really hoping to be home tomorrow but if not tomorrow I pray I am not here on valentines day.  Even though no matter where I am I will feel loved by family and friends. I am typing on my I Pad so I don't think I can add pictures to my blog or you would see the beautiful flowers and cards and books I have received. Yesterday I was so taken back because someone I know through Facebook who is a friend of a friend but retired teacher at our kids school came by and gave me flowers, candy, a beautiful chicken soup for soul book ( she doesn't know this but it had special meaning to me because my mom was published in one) and a book to keep me busy. It was beyond sweet. I wanted her to be able to sit and chat but I would start coughing as soon as I talked so that will have to wait for another day.

Then.....in walks in my husband and daughter couple hours later. Man I have to figure out how to add pictures. I seriously almost cried. They looked like they were moving in lol. They brought me a late lunch and flowers, my coveted grapes and orange juice, coffee and then MY P UPPY MOLLY!!!!!!! Ryan had called ahead and asked and begged and they said yes for a little bit. Mind you Molly is only 2 pound Shih Tzu that doesn't shed. She was so happy to see me and I her. To me that was one of the most romantic gestures because it was so thoughtful.....a surprise ....and effort was put into it. Seriously I will always remember that....! I had a great visit with them but I knew they would have to go and pick up and drop off the boys for basketball soon.  I am really blessed to have such a good family.

Right as they were leaving I got a delivery. I was really feeling loved. It helped too because the fact that I can't sleep on all this cortisol they are pumping into me I am here a lot by myself. My husband wants to be here more but it's 1 hour drive just to get here and then one back. Plus I really want our household to keep going because our kids are so busy. He constantly is telling me he feels bad bec I tell him to not come back. It makes me feel better that Sally and him can get everything done at home. He just ends up texting me right when he wakes up till he goes to sleep anyways. Lol. Anyways back to my delivery......omg they were the most beautiful flowers!!! As soon as I saw the card I knew who they were from when the front of it said "Farmer Rae" lol. That's a nickname a couple of my friends call me because when I first moved to the ranch I kept collecting all these bottle fed animals......calves.....lambs.....puppies lol.....it's a big joke that they think I need a skunk now or a giraffe. These two friends are always giving me such strength I don't even think they know how much strength they give me. I am very thankful for our families friendship.

So I may be in the hospital.....I may not be sleeping.... But I know I am loved. Not because I am here but because that's how I feel daily.  I am hoping tomorrow I will be outta here because I am pretty bored. Ok extremely bored but I will stay till I am well.

FRAUD and sickness

Fraud....has it happened to you? So in a way I feel as if I have to laugh sometimes or I will cry. This week we have started out with sickness. I got sick last Saturday. Somehow since then I have had Joshua sick and now Cassie sick. Guess what....I am still sick too. Its lame because I don't want to feel sick. I want to get out and do things and not be at home all the time. Ryan has really had to pick up the slack in the house. We even ordered pizza one night because there was so much running around to do that we didn't have time to cook.

Side note...my husband really loves me. You know just one of the ways I can tell? When I am sick (which with a low immune system from recovering from brain tumor is a lot) he takes care of what I usually take care of. He doesn't complain even though that means starting his day early with taking Joshua to practice at 515am and picking up Jackson at 8pm from his practice. When I am really sick like now I have to take it way easy or I will end up in Adrenal Insuffiency which takes me to the ER. I don't want to go to the ER. No one does. First off we don't have time ha! Secondly I personally don't want to be there getting another shot in the leg. So when I am sick I have to take it slow and easy. He always makes sure that I am not doing tons of things even though I complain because I don't want to be laying down. I couldn't ask for a better husband. He is giving and understanding. I really got the good end of the deal. Love you Ryan! *I don't even know if he reads these ha*.

Anyways amidst all of this sickness we have a friend of a friend who just had surgery. She is a single mom and we all know that is not easy when you are suppose to not move around. I had said I would make a meal for them but with us all being sick that didn't happen. I decided it was nice to bring each person an individual taco salad with all the toppings from our local Frosty. Its the only restaurant we have in town but it is GOOD! Ryan preordered the salads to pick up as he was going to get them on the way to pick up our son Jason from his practice, drop Jack off and take Jason to 4H leadership meeting.

AND THEN THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED....DECLINED!

Declined he said? Do it again please. Declined again. We put the salads on our tab and he look at our bank app and there were still thousands in there. Why cant we get a Salad? So he called the bank. They had stopped our Debit card thankfully because someone was making big purchases that were out of state. There was a 1400 dollar laptop, 875 dollars in paypal stuff, and then to top it off they got Fandango tickets which at this point made me laugh because the nearest movie theater to us is like almost an hour away. Someone got our card number somehow and was taking a little joy ride with our hard earned money. What the heck. First off I was so angry because who would even think to do something like that? Secondly how did they get our number? Thirdly (is that even a word) now we have to change all of our auto bill pay stuff and get a new card. This also makes us have to go an hour to the nearest bank to get cash out until the new card is sent to us. What a mess.

I am thankful we have a good  bank that is going to put our money back in. Thankful they caught it before the ppl decided to start to clean out our whole bank acct. As it was they had over 2000 worth of it and were getting to the rest. Makes me ill to think someone would do that. What a mess to have to fix but I was glad it got caught in time. All is well. Just some paperwork to do and phone calls to make for our Auto Pay and all will be well again.

I hope everyone who is reading this is having a good safe three day weekend. We are going to be drinking lots of tea, eating chicken noodle soup and getting better. With two of the four kids coming home today sick from school its going to be a sit under a comforter and watch movies and nap kind of weekend.


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