So my son is in 4H. This is something he wanted to join and not only did he decide he wanted to join one of the clubs in 4H but he wanted to join 5! We say okay its going to be a lot of meeting and work. He agreed he wanted to do this all so we went all in. We would be helping him do Shooting Sports, Leadership, Horse, Beginners Beef and Cooking.
So lets skip to Beginners Beef where we asked him if he would like to raise a Steer. This would be really costly to us but then he would have this project, show it at fair and sell it. He would pay us back for the Steer and all the feed and then keep the remaining money for himself. We were excited because this gives him responsibility and also money for himself after all the hard work. We talk to our Ranching friends.....he goes there and hand picks his Steer out. We schedule for drop off and Voila he has his Steer! This is a big thing so we asked four times to see if he was sure this is what he wanted to do.
Fast Forward. Steer is at our ranch. We have all the Hay and are driving to go get the Grain that it will need for the month. As we are driving our son tells us that he is actually not interested in having a Steer. The Steer that is 1500.00 and we already hand picked and the ranchers we got it from already took time to bring it to us. Goodness. I think Ryan and I seriously didn't know what to say. What happened to the excitement that was there two days ago? Mind you we had asked him FOUR times to MAKE sure.
So then its up to Ryan and I to decide what we are going to do. We ask why he doesn't want the Steer and he said he is bored with 4H and doesn't want to do it. We ask why have things changed in just a couple days and why hadn't he spoken up before we decided to go buy a Steer. We think during the first day he has the Steer he saw how much work you have to put into it because his mind hadn't changed till then.
Side note...A Steer doesn't help out our family at all. If it was a Heifer we could breed it or eat it but a Steer is solely for him to raise, grow, show and sell.
The car was just quiet as we are trying to figure out what we are going to do at this point. We are a family that once you start something ....you finish it. You have to try something once and if you don't like it then you don't have to do it again. 4h is only half way done. I think we were quiet because well it kind of makes you perplexed because as parents you are running your child around to make sure they are at every event and doing what they need. We already bought the clothes for 4H, paid all the fees, found how to get the animal he needs to show and sell. Our minds were racing. Now what? We have a 1500.00 dollar animal that will cost 4,000 dollars by the time we are done. Its not something we would get as a family because we aren't going to sell it. We want ones we can breed or eat later.
So as a parent what runs through your mind. Do we make him do it anyways? Do we put money into something he may or may not hate? How do we show him responsibility? How do we talk to him about not being passive and speaking up so this kind of dilemma doesn't happen? Do we talk to the Rancher and see if he will take the Steer back? Does he stay in 4H? How do we have our child be happy and be responsible? What lesson can we all learn from this? How do we teach him how frustrating this can be and how we could of prevented it all together?
So after a lot of Ryan and I talking, we decided he needs to finish 4H. It was his decision to do 4H and once our family starts something they need to finish it. Does he have to show an animal to be in 4H? No. So we called our ranching friends and talked to them about what happened. They graciously said they would take it back. If someone isn't really into their animal they might not take care of it the way it should be. That wouldn't be fair to the animal. Of course, we never would of let the Steer not be taking care of but I understand the point. Thankfully they said they would take it back. Putting 4,000 dollars into an animal that you are having a kid HAVE to take care of to us seems silly. So we are still teaching responsibility but not having it be taken out of our pocket. Our son will still have to help with animals, learn about them and work hard. It just wont be with his own. We also talked to him about being passive and speaking up for yourself. Don't say things you THINK people want to hear. Say what you want and don't want. Especially when asked four times if you wanted a Steer and each time was a yes lol! He had to call the Rancher himself also to tell him why he had changed his mind. We feel he needed to explain himself because it is teaching him something about responsibilities especially when others are helping you out.
Thankfully this is one of the many learning experience we will have with ALL the kids as we go along in life. If you don't have these bumps in the road.....you aren't learning. We had to really think about how to handle the situation. No yelling was done. Some head scratching was but it turned out all right. It is a learning experience for us all. Don't you love parenting? I do.....its new and different each day. Especially with four teenagers. Don't worry tomorrow we will have some trial and tribulation with another one of the kids. Its always one of the kids learning a new lesson in life. :) Who knows which one it will be but it will be someone haha.
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