Two Down, Two to go

I am back to blogging. As all of you know I write like I talk. That means there will be a lot of misspellings and punctuation errors. Just go with the flow!

Two down Two to Go.

I am 41 years old and seriously cannot believe that I am sitting here in the shop because its the only place with real internet. I have four teenagers. From 19 to 17 years old. Huge span huh? I feel as though I am missing a huge part of our lives already. Jackson joined the military back in April and Cassandra left for UC Davis this last week. Still in the house is Joshua and Jason but man does it seem quiet.

For a mom who loves their children its kind of always a good and bad thing when the kids call because they are homesick. Especially when they are calling a couple times a day. In a way you think to yourself that you  must of done something right because they actually miss being at home. Then other times you feel as if you have done something wrong because they are missing you too much. Did I teach them to be independent enough?

Why is it that no matter how your kids are doing you always feel you could be doing better with them? I mean seriously they both are doing well and decided to go somewhere after college that will get them somewhere in life.

Jackson did great in basic training. He is just finishing his school of Advanced Individual Training and scored a 91 percent. I mean that is amazing. He knows it too and knows that he is doing better now then he even did in High School.

Cassandra got a full ride to UC Davis. She called crying missing the family and worried she wouldn't do well in classes. I knew once the class actually started she would be happier and know she could do it. Classes started. She is happier lol.

So I have two down so to speak and two more kids to go. Its so much more quiet in the house with just two of them left. Its going to go by way too fast too. Joshua is a Senior this year and then next will be Jason who will be one next year. Where has the time gone?

I just cant get over the fact that some day the kids wont need me anymore. Then I have to stop and say "hey not even true" to myself because if my mom was still alive I would still need her. Thankfully I have my MIL or my Father to go to if I still need help.

This Season seems to be an exciting but tough one for me. Most parent cant wait for this stage in life. I am just helping my kids to keep growing and keep becoming independent while staying in their lives even from a distance.

I know the kids miss us as much as we miss them. Soon in a span of two years all four of the kids will be out of the house starting to live their own lives. For now I will text two of them daily to see how they are doing. And the other two seem to think they will get away with murder because we want to spend more time with them lol.

The one thing I do know is no matter what happens in my kids lives I will always be there for them. They each have a part of my heart and soul. I have my own life but if they ever need us I will stop whatever I am doing to help them.

Excited for their new lives and for growing up into amazing young men
and woman.

Love you always, Rae (mom)

BAD MOMS (no spoiler)

I have been wanting to see this movie forever. A bunch of us planned on seeing it at our own screening but that feel through because well....we are moms and everyone is busy. I did end up seeing it thought two days in a row. Yes...I saw it twice. I laughed just as much the second time as I did the first!!

The first day I went with my friend Christy, MIL and she invited some fun friends as well. We went to Mexican and then the movie. It was GREAT! Laughed so hard I thought I might pee myself.

The second day I finally talked my friend Megan into going. Cassie and I went and picked her up and away we went. It was interesting because the first time I saw it I was not going to take Cassie but then I realized I have to let go a little because in a month she is 18. She probably hears worse at school. Actually I know she does.

I laughed just as much the second time as I did the first!

Now lets get to the nitty gritty of this blog!!

I loved this movie because it really showed that no mom is perfect. NO MOM!! That everyone has dirt on them in some way or another. It also shows how much us moms care about our kids and try to do our best. Not the "best" of someone else's standards but to OUR best! It shows you no matter what your kid is doing, even when they drive you crazy... that we still love them very much! It even showed that realisticly  we should be not judging others. We don't know what's going on in their lives.

Now this may not be a God movie and maybe a lot of Christians wouldn't go to this movie (or maybe they would....I am not judging) but it really showed me some similarities.

Who knows I will probably be judged for writing this but just know that we all have different views on things. I took some of what I saw and laughed at it because I could relate to it in the movie and thought about it in the Christian sense too.

Treat others as you would want to be treated. Lets try and stop judging. I know I do it too and I am always working on it. Does it matter if you bring donut holes to a bake sale or you spent hours making cupcakes yourself? As long as the money is going to your kids right? I am not saying that those beautiful cupcakes didn't take you a long time and that you aren't awesome for it but the person who is working a lot and maybe who doesn't have time to make cupcakes instead  grabs the donut holes is just as amazing.

Lets stop judging. I mean seriously none of us like to be judged. We all know how it feels to be judged in life. None of us has escaped judgment I assure you.

Being Vulnerable and Real and Raw is okay! Personally I love my friends who can tell me their real stuff. It makes me feel more normal. I feel more connected to them. I even feel like I have a deeper friendship because they are willing to share with me their REALNESS and RAWNESS. If you aren't that way though....I get that too. Not gonna judge!

We all love our children. We all do it in different ways too. If you think about it though and look at all your friends whom you love dearly and who love you dearly......they ALL came from different backgrounds and were raised differently. That's what makes us unique. We love our children we just love them in different ways. Even if its the ones who loves them enough to give them up so they can be loved by someone else even more so.

I really loved the message in this movie. To be honest I loved that I could laugh at situations too. I saw myself in so many of them. In the end though....we are all bad moms. In the sense of NON of us are perfect. Its just not going to ever happen. I know I will keep trying my best but that's all I can ever do is MY best.

Hope I don't get judged just by this blog:)

Subscribe to my daily blog. By email, google+ or Bloglovin 

Morning Brain Fog

Have you ever woken up and still felt like you were asleep? Yep...that's how I feel. I have gotten dressed, put on make up (ok so I only wear eyeliner and mascara but its still something) and made a cup of tea and I still feel like I am sleeping. My hair is a mess still as you can see because doing it seems like too much work right now.

Lets be honest...how many days would you just like to have nothing to do in the morning? I woke up at 615 with the kids and by 7 I was thinking what would another hour of sleep hurt. So I slept another hour. Now I am up and feel like walking around not really accomplishing much.

This blog really isn't about anything in particular just my thoughts of this morning. You know after I just folded the kids laundry this morning I was thinking...Why is it they give it to me right before bed? Do your kids do that too? Usually they do their own laundry but lately I just have been doing it for them so I don't have to wait on the washer for my own clothes. Seriously....Do your kids give you laundry right before their  bedtime and tell you that they need a clean this or that the next morning? I seriously was thinking of going to bed when they did but NOOOO I had to stay up till it was done so I could put it into the dryer ha!

I guess I am trying to figure out if this or that is normal to other people. Like for me every morning whatever has been bothering me maybe that week is the first thought on my mind. WHAT THE HECK! Like I want to wake up to something that has been on my mind enough. I automatically say NO. And yes I say it out loud. Then lets be real I go to use the restroom and check my facebook. Oh don't think of me as a weirdo I bet you do too. Well unless you have a huge computer then maybe only half of you do:) After washing my hands....yes I wash my hands at my house too...I start reading a devotion or two or three. I think reading my Bible App really helps to ground me in the morning. If I don't read it somehow I feel like my day isn't just right.

So here I am sitting here now thinking of all the stuff I have to do today. Thankfully it may be chores but its fun stuff because its about getting our new land and house put together. Yep! I feel like an adult! Maybe I should get to it since for the last couple minutes in between sips of tea (didn't feel like coffee this morning) I am looking at an empty kitchen since I have been packing, a huge bag of carrots my husband ALWAYS buys and forgets to give to the horses, and two basketfuls of laundry that my kids can take up themselves when they get home.

So what was this blog about today. Well kind of nothing. I guess I just wanted to be real and talk with you guys over a cup of tea or coffee. I often wonder who actually reads these? If you do and dare to show yourself leave a comment. It would be great to say hi! Oh and I am sorry I write like how I talk. Okay actually maybe I am not sorry since I don't have to worry about punctuation which is nice.

I am starting to slowly come out of my morning fog. Maybe I should actually do my hair for the day and get a going. Just wanted to say hi to anyone to reads this and hopefully I will get a hi back!

Subscribe by putting your email in, Google+ or even Bloglovin. I hope you have a great day!

Do more of what makes you happy!

Do more of what makes you happy! I have been looking at that sign in my kitchen kind of a lot lately. I am someone who goes through phases of things. Its funny because Ryan does the same thing. Maybe that's why we are such a good match. I have gone through painting, scrapbooking, blogging, vlogging, etc etc. I have been in a rut lately. So I am going to do more of what makes me happy! I am going to start back to blogging again. I love it. I don't know why I stopped. Life just seems to get at you sometimes and you are so busy you kind of forget to do YOU.

I am doing me! I am still taking care of my family of course but I am putting a little more attention into myself. The happier I am....the happier my family will be.

My life is good don't get me wrong. I just would like to do some extra stuff while I have time. While the kids are in school. So this is my little get back to daily blogging notice.

So please subscribe! You will get an email every time I blog and can read it....or even choose not too. I mean seriously sometimes the only thing I have a chance to read is my bible app or yah...Facebook. I am a junkie in both of those apps. I cant see if you subscribed but I surely would feel great if you did!

Up and coming....tons of pictures of my family, what we do, and just real talk with all of you. So if you are going to read this remember I write like I talk. :)

Introducing My Kids!!

Josh, Jack,Cassie, and Jason

Having four teenagers is like having a whole High School of kids living at your house. Yes, Yes I know it’s only four of them but we literally have every grade of High school in this house. Our Youngest is in 9^th Grade this year and our oldest is in 12^th grade . I never only have four teenagers living in this house either because someone always has a friend or two or three over. I even have a fifth child that is like our son because he is here so much. He was here more this summer than our own children. He even has a bed here that is his and a drawer for clothes. The first thing he always says to me is “Rae, I am hungry what are you making?” Yep that is JUST like our kids.

Jason, Josh, Cassie and Jackson

Growing up my mom only really ever let us have one person spend the night at a time. I like it better that the kids come here to this house. Let’s be honest…I want to know what they are doing. Am I a strict mom? My kids would definitely say yes. I would say that I am a loving mom who actually cares where they are and what they are doing at all points of the day. My kid’s friends don’t think we are strict because they know our kids are spoiled. We do a lot of family time, take them places all the time, they don’t really want for anything but my one son Joshua always jokingly says “this house is a prison” when I tell him things like 2 popsicles are more than enough. That cracks us up so much that Ryan and I even started to say it.

Our kids have chores every day and have to take care of their animals. They have to have their beds made and rooms clean. Homework done and then they can go off on the quads or play pool or swim. We don’t do the Xbox unless it’s a weekend and if we are going together as a family to an event or shopping or what not they have to come.  They have to have C’s or above. It’s their job to do well at school but we understand that some subject’s kids might struggle at. I mean heck I can’t even do my kids math homework! I have to send them to Ryan for that. I help with all the other subjects though. If they have less than C’s they don’t have any privileges because they apparently don’t have time to keep up their grades.  This doesn’t happen often but it has happened and it’s quickly corrected.

With four teenagers I have four VERY different personalities. I am very lucky though because they all get along well even though they have only been together for the last 7 years. Being a blended family with Ryan bringing in two children and I brought in two….I have heard that we are VERY blessed that they get along and see each other as brothers and sister. I can say to any of them…”go get your brother please” and they will always ask me “which one?”

Jackson

Jackson is our oldest. He is 17 going on what he wishes was 21. He loves sports and loves girl’s lol. I am sure that is just a 17 year old thing. If he dates though over time he is in love of all loves with that girl. Ryan and I just roll our eyes as he doesn’t know true love yet. He is a great driver and can spot a deer from the side of the road before I even see it. This is really helpful when you live on a ranch. He is kind but doesn’t like to show his feelings. He is the one that is always “learning” that our rules are there for a reason. He has been trying to spread his wings for some time now but is the child who actually doesn’t want to leave home. He is always saying he is going to leave and come right back. He is a protector of his siblings and a very hard worker at home. He is a bit of a trash talker but in a joking way. Its pretty darn funny. He loves sports and plays them well. He works at it and at it till he gets better and better. He is good with being a part of a team but he is very competitive on being the best that he can be. We are always telling him he needs to be more humble ha! Jack is definitely mechanical and is in the process of fixing our old BMW for himself. I am lucky because Jackson is the one kid that will sit down with you and talk and talk about what is going on in his day. I bonded with him so fast when we first met 7 years ago. He is definitely my son who I love very much!

Cassie

Cassie is next in line. She is 16. She is my overachiever who does not even want to get below an A-. I never have to ask her to clean her room as she always already has it done. He is kind of type A as she doesn’t want things moved and get anxiety if we clean her carpets and something might get moved out of place. She is an avid reader and loves to draw. I love that she draws. She has such talent and not just because I say that because I am her mother but because she just is really good. She has an eye for Art. Especially Anime which is Japanese Cartoon Art. Cassie beats to her own drum and doesn’t care. I love this about her because she isn’t afraid to be herself. She is more of a leader than a follower. She doesn’t care what people think of her. She definitely is the child who will tell you something but then turn it around to be in her favor. She has this amazing way of writing. I want to actually do a book with her and have her do the animation but truly I think she could do it all on her own. She is always writing manuscripts and they are amazing.  She is a cat lover but does love her puppy Sebastian. She is very caring and tries to show you through cards and paintings and such. Cassie also cares a lot about her family. She keeps every card ever given to her by family no matter what the occasion was. She loves music. Boy does this child love music. I think for two years she never didn’t have headphones on her head or around her neck. She knows almost every word to every song too. Even the oldies. That always amazes me. She can hear something and it just sticks in her head. To be the only girl in the house too is amazing because she can hold her own but she fights dirty. Trust me she can whip you with her tongue if she chose to. Luckily she doesn’t do it often. I love her very much! She is my princess.

Joshua

Joshua is our third child and by far the tallest child. At 15 years old he is already 6’3’’. It’s hard to look up at him and tell him to go to his room if he has been misbehaving. This doesn’t actually happen that often because Joshua definitely has a big moral compass. He is very black and white and not grey in the middle. This sometimes can get him in trouble as he will tell you exactly what he feels about a situation. Most of the time though he has a very valid point. At the same time though he is the one who tells us he is in trouble before we find out. All the other kids won’t even say anything until we find out. Joshua is definitely our goofy kid in the house. I still remember his first day of 7^th grade when he came to a new school. He walked down the hallway, did a somersault and then kept on walking like nothing ever happened. He is always cracking us up. He is pretty quick witted and can have a good comeback in no time flat. Joshua is sensitive though and doesn’t like it when people are mean to others especially if it’s to one of us. He still has a polar bear stuffed animal that his Nana gave to him before she passed away that is very special to him. He has a great memory too and always tells us stories of when he was “younger” and what he did.  He is a thinker and not much of a talker of his feelings. It has to be a pretty special day when he opens way up and tells you how he feels. These are the times we really sit down and listen. He is definitely my son that I love very much!

Jason

Jason is only 3 months younger than Joshua. He is going to be 15 this month. Jason is the youngest of the family and wears that title proudly. He sneakily can get out of work because he is younger and the older boys tend to do it. Jason is sensitive for sure. You have to be careful with how you joke with him as it may hurt his feelings. He is the kid though that will always hug you goodnight and always say I love you. He will search for you in the house to do it even and not go to bed till he has done it. Jason loves to be around people and yet likes his alone time also. He has many friends and blends in really well. He is very endearing as he will ask if you are okay if you hurt yourself. It’s funny though because we always tell him that he needs his hearing checked because he doesn’t always hear what you say. Once we said we were going to the store and he told all the other kids we went to go buy a new car. He swears he heard that. If the TV is on you can’t get his attention. He loves baseball and animals. He is very kind to all the animals and always willing to help with them. If you ask the other kids they say Jason gets away with the most. If you ask Jason though…his life is hardJ He is addicted to sugar and loves candy. If there is one piece left in the house he will definitely find it. Cracks me up every time. We used to load his stocking full of gum because he loves it so much.  He is definitely my son that I love very much!

I love my kids so much! They all have these great personalities and are going to grow up and really go far. They all have the love in their heart and are good people. For teenagers we are very blessed that they don’t get in trouble much. They love their family and we still get hugs from them. We are very blessed to have these kids. They are the apple of my eye, the light of my life. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. Man I sound super sappy but hey it’s true! I love them! Our love for our kids isn’t divided…..its multiplied!

 

 

Mother Son Day and some Chicks

My 14 year old Josh and I

 

 

When you have four teenagers you have to take advantage of the days you only have one child. Ryan took our three that are in braces to their appointments 2 hours away so Josh and I had our own day. It was pretty fun!

 

I am 5'10'' and he is 6'2'' at 14!!!!

We picked up our new chicks today

Love this one she looks grumpy

Sleeping babies

I asked him to smile he said he wouldn't.

Of course he started too but wouldn't show me

Yep I am going to catch it! I am!

Yep got it! Kind of but good enough for me

Decided to be a cool mom and let him dye his hair black but its not permanent
I am definitely a messy dyer lol.  

Final results. In the sun it looks blue though so I hope it washes out fast

 

It was a good day. I got a lot of smiles and we talked. Sometimes its hard to get teenage boys to talk. I find that if they are trapped in the car with you conversation ensues :) I cant wait to have this one on one day with all my kids. Its rare with the busy house that we have but I think its important. He got to be the lucky one today since he is the only one not in braces. Actually I feel like I am the lucky one being able to have this one on one time! Love my kids

Subscribe by Google+ , Bloglovin or email! Have a Blessed day!

Mini Basketball...What exactly is that?

I really do love our school but what exactly is Mini Basketball I asked when my son called and said he wanted to coach it. His exact words were "I want to Coach Mini Basketball and you cant say no". I laughed. He told me what it entailed and I thought it was great. Of course I said yes.

So our school as some of you know is small. From K-12 (even though there is an Elementary school and a separate High school they are right next to each other) there is roughly 200 students total. These 200 students come from 4 towns that we call Big Valley. We have a JV team when we have enough players in High School and we have a Varsity Team always. After Basketball Season is over for the High schoolers they have a Mini Basketball Season for 3rd-6th graders. Its a week long after school. They start on a Monday and have a tournament on Friday.

4 amazing teams and all their helpers!

Its so cool seeing how many kids come out to do this. I don't have kids in elementary school anymore but if I did they would totally do this. How exciting for the kids to play and the parents to watch. Why is this special to me personally? The teenagers get to coach. So my oldest son Jackson (17) stayed after school to get to know the kids and coach them for the tournament.

Kellen on left, Jackson on Right and the Wolves!

The tournament is four teams and they get to play two games each. The Big Valley Lions Club sponsors it which is amazing. They supply the kids with all their T-shirts and all the stuff they need. We are very lucky to have them sponsor us. Its so gracious of them. Also, my good friend Becky also works really hard getting it together. She would die if she knew I even wrote about her. She is one of those people who never wants to be thanked and hides if she thinks someone is going to. Thank you though Becky!!

With a small town you always have a lot of helpers. We had the Basketball Coaches from high school helping, parents, Ms. Silva and lots of teens too helping with being a Ref or Announcer.

So Jackson had a hard first day or two when he went. He really wanted to be able to do more with the kids. We had a family discussion about how they look up to him and he needs to keep on keeping on. By Wednesday Jackson got his team which made him feel more like a Coach. At dinner he was talking all about each child and how excited he was. Heck his excitement made us excited. We were excited about him and the kids in his team.

Jackson became Coach Jack to them.

Friday came fast. It was a half day at school. Jackson stayed after school along with great volunteers to help his kids decorate their shirts. His team was now known as the Wolves. There were also three other great teams that they would be going against. Its funny to see siblings on different teams or bests friends. Its all in fun and each child got to play and play a lot. Go Wolves!

As a parent I was excited at the game watching my son be excited while he coached. I thought he did a stellar job always pumping them up, high fives and good jobs everywhere, and a big smile on his face. When one of his girls made a basket (she is really shy) he jumped up and down screaming. It made my heart swell! At that moment I wished it wasn't just a week. He had a plan on how to have every kid play a lot. They did too! I am smiling just thinking about this event yesterday.

Go Team!

They won both their games but even if they didn't they were all winners. The kids had so much fun. It was great seeing all the teenagers coaching. I loved being in the stands watching. It was a lot of fun. Really shows the lil guys how much fun Basketball can be and gives them someone to look up to also. Whoever started this event years ago was ingenious.

I was a proud mom. I was proud of my son and how he behaved with the kids. I love how he got a technical and talked to the Ref in a good manner. I love how he pushed his kids to do well and to lead them into doing well. I love how those kids became his friends and how he said on Monday he is going to keep it going by telling them how awesome they are. I love that he gave Gatorade to all his team. It was funny to hear the kids tell their moms they didn't need water because "My Coach bought me Gatorade!". So funny.

I never thought I would be the "sports" mom but I have been for awhile. Yesterday Jackson told me I was now the "Coaches" Mom. I really hope he does this again next year too. Its an amazing event. Couldn't be more proud of my kid and his team!

Thank you to BV Lions and all the Volunteers from Jackson

Subscribe by going to the top of the home page and putting your email in. You will get a email every time I post. Remember today is #3 post out of 7 that are in a Gift Card Giveaway. All you have to do is Subscribe and comment below on this post. You will be in the drawing. 7 Gift cards to Starbucks and Amazon will be given away on March 31st. Yes you can go back to the two before this and comment also for 2 extra entries......