Ramblings of an insane person

Ramblings of a blogger

Have you ever just wanted to write out all the thoughts that come to mind just to see what your pattern of thinking is? As anyone who knows me personally they know that when I blog I write just how I talk in real life. I never edit or go back and read it after I am done either. I click "publish" and that's that. I do this so you as the reader get to see my authentic self.

I decided today that I am going to take 20 minutes to write whatever comes to my mind. Maybe this time I will look at it after but after I click "publish". This is going to be Rae Rae's pattern of thinking. Crazy as it may be.

I wonder how many people are actually subscribed to my blog? Why they are even interested in it. Would I be interested in it myself? I sure hope so. Wow I ask myself a lot of questions. I think in general I ask a lot of questions. That probably annoys my family but hey it's something that helps me learn and know what's going on. I bet I have found out things about my kids or husband that I never would of known otherwise. Good things...fun things...
In those talks and by prying a little deeper I have gotten to know my family more. I actually love it when people ask me questions too. To me it shows you are interested and care. That is just me though. I am not sure how I am going to get dinner done tonight. Might have to take the kids out. Weigh being at school all day then taking Josh and Cassie to get their permits then taking Jason and josh back to do 2 hours of basketball it's going to be interesting. Thankfully I have a small "me" break today to have lunch with a good friend. I am thankful because I have been so busy or out of town it makes me feel like a flake by not taking that time with my friends. I don't even care what we do but since I have been sick with cushings it's gotten to the point where I don't do the things I used to do. I don't have that extra energy. I want to and I am actually finally looking forward to my third and final surgery to be done with cushings for good. I wish I didn't even have that word in my vocabulary. Yet by having this disease I have learned so much. Actually I have made friends who I never would of met before. I have people in my life that are a great support and whom I love. Come to think of it that's how I feel about my international swapping group. I have met people from across the seas that I still talk to daily. It's interesting how the internet can make you feel not alone if you are. I am not but it's a great way of communication. I miss traveling just to see the land or seas. I feel like I have all these doctors appointments that we make into mini vacations but my dream would be to just plan and go somewhere new that didn't have an appointment or surgery involved. We make the best if it though. We mix business with pleasure. I am so thankful for a supportive husband. Life isn't always easy with four teenagers. That's four times the questions. Also four times the laughs and four times the love. My husband makes me laugh. After seven years I hear the same jokes still but he started coming up with new ones which I thought was funny in itself. He even said to me "how's that for a new one". Made me laugh so hard. I remember one time wrestling with him and I laughed so hard I thought I wasn't gonna breathe. He kept blowing raspberries on my neck. I love it when we do things like that. Makes you feel so connected. I guess that goes to something we have been talking a lot about lately. What's really important to you. Laughter and living are very important to me too. Touch. Can't forget touch. Hugs from my kids. Kisses and hugs from Ryan. Sleeping how we always sleep. Snuggle and then when wanting to sleep turning over, getting comfortable and sleeping butt to butt. Ok my stomach is grumbling. Why is it I remember to make sure the kids eat breakfast but I don't. Need to take care of myself more. I want to do a big brunch for the kids before we leave to next surgery. I like we sit down for dinner each night at the table. I think families get to busy and don't do that. I like that we do. Even if sometimes it can feel rushed. I need to double cook things and freeze it for after surgery to to help mil. To help us too. Makes me feel bad after my surgeries that everyone has to do so much and maybe that part at least can be done. I am going to take a weeks and do that. Make chili, enchiladas, lasagna, soups for after surgery. I wish they had something that you could just order homemade foods and have it delivered. Being on thousands of acres there is nothing that delivers especially all the way out to us. I love cooking when not rushed so this maybe fun. Are my twenty minutes up? I feel like my thoughts are everywhere. And boring. This is me though .....all me. Wonder how many people actually will read this? Yep there I go with my questions again.

Subscribe to my blog by email. It's super easy just put your email up above and you will get am email everytime I blog. You can also subscribe by Google+ and Bloglovin
I hope you have a very blessed day

Introducing My Kids!!

Josh, Jack,Cassie, and Jason

Having four teenagers is like having a whole High School of kids living at your house. Yes, Yes I know it’s only four of them but we literally have every grade of High school in this house. Our Youngest is in 9^th Grade this year and our oldest is in 12^th grade . I never only have four teenagers living in this house either because someone always has a friend or two or three over. I even have a fifth child that is like our son because he is here so much. He was here more this summer than our own children. He even has a bed here that is his and a drawer for clothes. The first thing he always says to me is “Rae, I am hungry what are you making?” Yep that is JUST like our kids.

Jason, Josh, Cassie and Jackson

Growing up my mom only really ever let us have one person spend the night at a time. I like it better that the kids come here to this house. Let’s be honest…I want to know what they are doing. Am I a strict mom? My kids would definitely say yes. I would say that I am a loving mom who actually cares where they are and what they are doing at all points of the day. My kid’s friends don’t think we are strict because they know our kids are spoiled. We do a lot of family time, take them places all the time, they don’t really want for anything but my one son Joshua always jokingly says “this house is a prison” when I tell him things like 2 popsicles are more than enough. That cracks us up so much that Ryan and I even started to say it.

Our kids have chores every day and have to take care of their animals. They have to have their beds made and rooms clean. Homework done and then they can go off on the quads or play pool or swim. We don’t do the Xbox unless it’s a weekend and if we are going together as a family to an event or shopping or what not they have to come.  They have to have C’s or above. It’s their job to do well at school but we understand that some subject’s kids might struggle at. I mean heck I can’t even do my kids math homework! I have to send them to Ryan for that. I help with all the other subjects though. If they have less than C’s they don’t have any privileges because they apparently don’t have time to keep up their grades.  This doesn’t happen often but it has happened and it’s quickly corrected.

With four teenagers I have four VERY different personalities. I am very lucky though because they all get along well even though they have only been together for the last 7 years. Being a blended family with Ryan bringing in two children and I brought in two….I have heard that we are VERY blessed that they get along and see each other as brothers and sister. I can say to any of them…”go get your brother please” and they will always ask me “which one?”

Jackson

Jackson is our oldest. He is 17 going on what he wishes was 21. He loves sports and loves girl’s lol. I am sure that is just a 17 year old thing. If he dates though over time he is in love of all loves with that girl. Ryan and I just roll our eyes as he doesn’t know true love yet. He is a great driver and can spot a deer from the side of the road before I even see it. This is really helpful when you live on a ranch. He is kind but doesn’t like to show his feelings. He is the one that is always “learning” that our rules are there for a reason. He has been trying to spread his wings for some time now but is the child who actually doesn’t want to leave home. He is always saying he is going to leave and come right back. He is a protector of his siblings and a very hard worker at home. He is a bit of a trash talker but in a joking way. Its pretty darn funny. He loves sports and plays them well. He works at it and at it till he gets better and better. He is good with being a part of a team but he is very competitive on being the best that he can be. We are always telling him he needs to be more humble ha! Jack is definitely mechanical and is in the process of fixing our old BMW for himself. I am lucky because Jackson is the one kid that will sit down with you and talk and talk about what is going on in his day. I bonded with him so fast when we first met 7 years ago. He is definitely my son who I love very much!

Cassie

Cassie is next in line. She is 16. She is my overachiever who does not even want to get below an A-. I never have to ask her to clean her room as she always already has it done. He is kind of type A as she doesn’t want things moved and get anxiety if we clean her carpets and something might get moved out of place. She is an avid reader and loves to draw. I love that she draws. She has such talent and not just because I say that because I am her mother but because she just is really good. She has an eye for Art. Especially Anime which is Japanese Cartoon Art. Cassie beats to her own drum and doesn’t care. I love this about her because she isn’t afraid to be herself. She is more of a leader than a follower. She doesn’t care what people think of her. She definitely is the child who will tell you something but then turn it around to be in her favor. She has this amazing way of writing. I want to actually do a book with her and have her do the animation but truly I think she could do it all on her own. She is always writing manuscripts and they are amazing.  She is a cat lover but does love her puppy Sebastian. She is very caring and tries to show you through cards and paintings and such. Cassie also cares a lot about her family. She keeps every card ever given to her by family no matter what the occasion was. She loves music. Boy does this child love music. I think for two years she never didn’t have headphones on her head or around her neck. She knows almost every word to every song too. Even the oldies. That always amazes me. She can hear something and it just sticks in her head. To be the only girl in the house too is amazing because she can hold her own but she fights dirty. Trust me she can whip you with her tongue if she chose to. Luckily she doesn’t do it often. I love her very much! She is my princess.

Joshua

Joshua is our third child and by far the tallest child. At 15 years old he is already 6’3’’. It’s hard to look up at him and tell him to go to his room if he has been misbehaving. This doesn’t actually happen that often because Joshua definitely has a big moral compass. He is very black and white and not grey in the middle. This sometimes can get him in trouble as he will tell you exactly what he feels about a situation. Most of the time though he has a very valid point. At the same time though he is the one who tells us he is in trouble before we find out. All the other kids won’t even say anything until we find out. Joshua is definitely our goofy kid in the house. I still remember his first day of 7^th grade when he came to a new school. He walked down the hallway, did a somersault and then kept on walking like nothing ever happened. He is always cracking us up. He is pretty quick witted and can have a good comeback in no time flat. Joshua is sensitive though and doesn’t like it when people are mean to others especially if it’s to one of us. He still has a polar bear stuffed animal that his Nana gave to him before she passed away that is very special to him. He has a great memory too and always tells us stories of when he was “younger” and what he did.  He is a thinker and not much of a talker of his feelings. It has to be a pretty special day when he opens way up and tells you how he feels. These are the times we really sit down and listen. He is definitely my son that I love very much!

Jason

Jason is only 3 months younger than Joshua. He is going to be 15 this month. Jason is the youngest of the family and wears that title proudly. He sneakily can get out of work because he is younger and the older boys tend to do it. Jason is sensitive for sure. You have to be careful with how you joke with him as it may hurt his feelings. He is the kid though that will always hug you goodnight and always say I love you. He will search for you in the house to do it even and not go to bed till he has done it. Jason loves to be around people and yet likes his alone time also. He has many friends and blends in really well. He is very endearing as he will ask if you are okay if you hurt yourself. It’s funny though because we always tell him that he needs his hearing checked because he doesn’t always hear what you say. Once we said we were going to the store and he told all the other kids we went to go buy a new car. He swears he heard that. If the TV is on you can’t get his attention. He loves baseball and animals. He is very kind to all the animals and always willing to help with them. If you ask the other kids they say Jason gets away with the most. If you ask Jason though…his life is hardJ He is addicted to sugar and loves candy. If there is one piece left in the house he will definitely find it. Cracks me up every time. We used to load his stocking full of gum because he loves it so much.  He is definitely my son that I love very much!

I love my kids so much! They all have these great personalities and are going to grow up and really go far. They all have the love in their heart and are good people. For teenagers we are very blessed that they don’t get in trouble much. They love their family and we still get hugs from them. We are very blessed to have these kids. They are the apple of my eye, the light of my life. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. Man I sound super sappy but hey it’s true! I love them! Our love for our kids isn’t divided…..its multiplied!