Everyday Rae Rae: Two Down, Two to go

I am back to blogging. As all of you know I write like I talk. That means there will be a lot of misspellings and punctuation errors. Just go with the flow!

Two down Two to Go.

I am 41 years old and seriously cannot believe that I am sitting here in the shop because its the only place with real internet. I have four teenagers. From 19 to 17 years old. Huge span huh? I feel as though I am missing a huge part of our lives already. Jackson joined the military back in April and Cassandra left for UC Davis this last week. Still in the house is Joshua and Jason but man does it seem quiet.

For a mom who loves their children its kind of always a good and bad thing when the kids call because they are homesick. Especially when they are calling a couple times a day. In a way you think to yourself that you must of done something right because they actually miss being at home. Then other times you feel as if you have done something wrong because they are missing you too much. Did I teach them to be independent enough?

Why is it that no matter how your kids are doing you always feel you could be doing better with them? I mean seriously they both are doing well and decided to go somewhere after college that will get them somewhere in life.

Jackson did great in basic training. He is just finishing his school of Advanced Individual Training and scored a 91 percent. I mean that is amazing. He knows it too and knows that he is doing better now then he even did in High School.

Cassandra got a full ride to UC Davis. She called crying missing the family and worried she wouldn't do well in classes. I knew once the class actually started she would be happier and know she could do it. Classes started. She is happier lol.

So I have two down so to speak and two more kids to go. Its so much more quiet in the house with just two of them left. Its going to go by way too fast too. Joshua is a Senior this year and then next will be Jason who will be one next year. Where has the time gone?

I just cant get over the fact that some day the kids wont need me anymore. Then I have to stop and say "hey not even true" to myself because if my mom was still alive I would still need her. Thankfully I have my MIL or my Father to go to if I still need help.

This Season seems to be an exciting but tough one for me. Most parent cant wait for this stage in life. I am just helping my kids to keep growing and keep becoming independent while staying in their lives even from a distance.

I know the kids miss us as much as we miss them. Soon in a span of two years all four of the kids will be out of the house starting to live their own lives. For now I will text two of them daily to see how they are doing. And the other two seem to think they will get away with murder because we want to spend more time with them lol.

The one thing I do know is no matter what happens in my kids lives I will always be there for them. They each have a part of my heart and soul. I have my own life but if they ever need us I will stop whatever I am doing to help them.