Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I have NO time Why you ask?


Seriously….and I do mean seriously…I have no time! This is the time of year that I feel like we are driving or sitting at all times. All our boys are in Basketball. Cassie decided this year that she was opting out of it as she really just likes Volleyball. Jason and Josh are both on the JV team. I love that they are on the same team and get to play Basketball together. Jackson being a Senior is on the Varsity team.

Have a small school there is only one Gym for the High school. Well that means that Varsity gets it before school from 6-8am, the Girls get it after school from 4-6 and then the JV boys get it from 6-8. No problem right? Well actually its chaos for us haha. That means Jackson drives himself to school. Then an hour later we are driving the rest of the kids to school. Then he drives them all home but an hour later I am driving the younger boys back to the school for 6pm practice. No big deal right? Well it takes us 50 minutes just to get to the school. Haha! I tell you….they better love us.

We are spending more time in the car than anything now a days. The good part about that though is we get a lot of one on one time to talk to the kids about their days or what’s been going on. Basketball season has just started and I am already thinking when the end of it is haha!
I love watching the kids play. I love that they are active and want to play. Most of all I love that all the kids play on the same day. Again because it’s a small school the girls and boys play on the same night no matter if its JV or Varsity. It leads for long nights but they are so worth it.
These are the days of never ending laundry even though you feel like you don’t see the kids that much. These are the days of eating at 430pm just so you can eat as a family which is very important to us. These are the days of a lot of KLOVE music in the car (I will know all the songs by the end of the season). These are the days……..
These are the days we will look back on and think how we ever did it with four kids. How did we manage their schedules with school, sports and family time? I am thankful and blessed for these days!
So as I sit here taking a break from laundry. Waiting on one child to come home and the other three have fallen fast asleep well before their bedtime of 930, I sit here in silence thinking about how fast life goes by. I can’t believe I think this is so chaotic and hectic and in just 4 short years all of the kids will be out of the house. I have to treasure these moments. Why? Because…these are the days!

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Sunday, November 1, 2015

Homecoming and Sad/Happy Tears


When you have four teenagers your life is dull. Ok, seriously did anyone believe me when I just said that? Because if you did you need to stop right now because you are living in some weird bubble somewhere and have never been around one teenagers let alone four ha!

This was homecoming night for the school and also senior night for the well…Seniors.



Events started at 4pm and ran till 10pm. We started out with Cassie having her Varsity Volleyball game. They looked so awesome in their outfits for Breast Cancer Awareness month. I loved calling Cassie name from the stands. She had Grandma (MIL), Nana Robin, Papa Pat and all of us cheering for her and the team. She kept giving us the “omg mom don’t embarrass me” look. Ha! Then they had JV Volleyball. After that everyone moved to the Football Field to the Homecoming game. Before the game they had senior night where they announce each senior playing Football and what they like and love and will miss. The seniors then go and give their parents a rose to say Thank you. We however thought this happened at half time. Ryan and I ran all the way back to the house because we brought the good camera but forgot to grab the battery. We wanted great pictures of all of this.



We actually got there JUST as the football game started. Got to the seats and sat down. We had a whole crew of us. Ryan’s Dad and other Mom were visiting from Texas just to come see this game (mind you we live In California), Mil was there as usual and then Ryan and I and the kids. After sitting down a good friend of mine came over and said we had missed the Senior part of the night. I was devastated. I thought that it was at half time like it usually is. They had changed it however because they were doing Homecoming at half time now. I didn’t realize that. Lets be honest…I broke into tears. I missed my one son doing Color Guard and my other son trying to show his gratitude. The part that hurt me as a parent the most is that I knew he was looking for us and we weren’t there. Josh wasn’t upset we missed Color Guard because he was doing the exact same thing a week later and we would see it and get great pictures. To him it wasn’t that big of a deal. He did amazing though and carried the American Flag. Friends gave me some pictures. I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him.


At this point you just have to say to yourself that there is nothing that could be done. So you just have to put a smile on your face and enjoy the game that your two boys are playing. Jackson who is a Senior this year and Jason who is a freshman. To have their grandparents there cheering them on along with their parents was pretty darn cool! They made some great plays and we heard Jacksons name over the loud speaker many times for great blocks to help the team get a touchdown. It was a great game! I wish Jason would have been able to play but being Senior night they let them play a lot more than usual even. I loved the small moments when Jason and Jackson were standing next to each other getting ready to go in.



Sidenote. Jason is #16 but didn’t want his own jersey as when Jackson graduates he is going to take his jersey. That’s why it doesn’t say Collins on the back of both of them. Jackson is #15 because that is his little brothers bday. Its just so cool.

So halftime events came up and all the sudden over the speaker I hear “ There is one Senior who wasn’t able to give his mom a rose as she just is a month out of brain surgery and got here in time for the game. Jackson collins…..go find your mother”. Jack ran from the field and came up to me to give me a rose. I look over and Sally (MIL) is bawling too! He hugged me, then Mil, then went down the line hugging his Nana Robin and Papa Pat and then his dad. He had tears in his eyes too! It was so special that we actually ended up not missing it. I was devastated when I thought I had. I am sure that Jack loved loved loved the extra attention since everyone in the stands was clapping and hooting. Made his day too!

He went out after and finished the second half with a storm. His spirits were high and we were all cheering like mad. It was a great event. I was so happy that Ryan’s Dad and other mom were able to be here. Not only did they get to see one child but they got to see all four of the teenagers doing something. I loved hearing how much they love our little town and how impressed they were of all the kids. It was fun introducing them to our friends and showing them around our town. We were lucky that they came to visit as Texas is a long ways away.

The night turned out great. We won the game and are now in playoffs for the Championships. Josh has another Color Guard for Veterans day and Cassie Volleyball season is coming to a close. It was a great day.

So, I don’t know if you are wondering how they knew that we weren’t there or how the announcement ended up coming over the loud speaker at half time right before Homecoming Court came out. Well at one point in the game my husband said he had to go to the car to get another SD card for the camera that we brought and missed everything for ha! He actually went up to the box and talked to the announcer about if they could redo that moment just for me. The town knows that I had surgery and this was my first real outing since then. It was important for me to be there for all four of my kids. I wouldn’t of missed it for the world. That’s true love. When you see that your wife and your child missed something that couldn’t be redone. He made it happen. I always tell him that he is my superhero. He truly is. We all were able to experience that event and it ended up being even more special because he decided to go talk to the announcer about it. I love the look on Jacksons grandparents faces. It was priceless. The look of crying or the look of how proud they were. I seriously cant believe I am going to be doing this three more times with my three other children in the next three years. Someone seriously help me! I am not going to be a good empty nester at all. Horrible in fact!

The night ended well. Everyone was happy and things always happen for a reason. Even if that reason ends up being your hubby making the night better for you and your son. I will forever remember that moment!
 
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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Chrismas Decorating NOW?! (and why I am crying)


It’s the end of October and I want to decorate my whole house. Seems simple enough right? The small problem is I want to decorate it like a snowman threw up in it or like Santa sprinkled all his Christmas joy all over my house. It’s the end of October. I should be doing Halloween or Thanksgiving right?

Okay before you put me in some crazy psych ward, let me explain myself.

THIS IS MY LAST YEAR WITH ALL FOUR OF MY KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS WHILE THEY ARE ALL STILL LIVING AT OUR HOUSE!!

Deep Breathe! Sniffles. Wiping my tears away.


Josh, Jack, Cassie and Jason
My oldest child Jackson is a Senior this year. Cassie is a Junior. Joshua a Sophomore and then Jason a Freshman. Did I hear you just take a deep breathe with me? Or were you breathing hard because you just heard me say that my children are all in high school and there are four of them?

Jackson is planning on going into the military after High School. He has been wanting this for a couple years. He wants to work, serve our country and go to school all at the same time. Very proud of his decision. He didn’t have to do that but it was his decision and we are honored to have another service man in our family.

All grown up my baby! Jackson
Back to Christmas. I just keep thinking how this is our last Christmas while they all live with us together. I mean I know we will have them all later on in life too but for some reason in my heart this feels like a crazy big thing. Jackson!!! I don’t want you to leave yet!




Now because we are a blended family, even though the kids live with us full time they go to their other parent’s house on every other holiday. This year it so happens that Thanksgiving they are at their other family’s house but Christmas falls with us this year.

We don't know how to be normal
Maybe that’s why I am not even thinking about Thanksgiving much. Holidays just don’t seem like holidays without the kids. It’s a good quiet little vacation for Ryan and I though which is always nice.

So I want to decorate Christmas now. Is that really so wrong? I mean what if I didn’t have friends come over till after Thanksgiving? So I don’t get sent to some psych ward or something. I just feel like I have to really savor this Holiday. Just as I am sure Jackson’s mom will savior Thanksgiving with him.

We have so many plans for Christmas for the four kids this year. I can’t say them all as they won’t be surprised if they actually read this (I doubt they do ha). We want to do a small get away. We want to go visit Ryans family and my family. Have Christmas day at our house with stockings, goodies and a big dinner. I don’t know if they will remember this Christmas as I will be blinding them with the flash of the camera. My babies!!! The four of them!!! Before one of them tries to leave the nest.

I think when he goes off it will be my husband, his mom and I standing there crying! I might be holding onto his feet as he tries to go to Basic Training not willing to let my kid go. I seriously am tearing up right this second just thinking about it.

Jackson and I have had this amazing relationship. Its nice to have loved this child for the last almost 8 years. When I met him he was this little dorky 9 year old with big ears and a bigger grin. When he hugged me his head was at my chest level. He was so small and so skinny ha! Now he is almost 18, taller than I am. Grew into his ears, still has a goofy amazing smile. He stole my heart 8 years ago. I love him like he was mine to begin with. Ok! Crying again! Where are the tissues people?

Jack Coaching Youth Basketball
We are blessed to have brought four children together who love each other and see each other as real siblings. When I say “Go tell your brother he needs to dump the trash”. They will say “Which one”. We are VERY blessed! They don’t fight and get along. No I am not kidding it’s so true. I mean the only thing they do is pick on each other like normal brothers and sister. Even last night after dinner Ryan and I had gone upstairs to talk about an idea we had for Halloween. Didn’t want to talk in front of the kids because then they put their two or three or four cents worth as well they are teenagers. After talking one by one each of the kids started straggling into our room. First it was Jackson, then Cassie, then Jason and then Joshua. It ended up with us sitting as a family in our room just talking and eating snacks from my swaps. We talked about everything from why we won’t let them go to parties with alcohol even though we trust them not to drink to Halloween costumes to what they want to be when they grow up to what they would do in this or that situation. 2 hours went by and they were still talking and laughing. I didn’t want to take that moment away. I wanted to keep it in my head forever. All the sudden it was 930 and the kids started straggling out to get ready for bed. Some kept popping back in to ask a question here or there.

We are blessed they love each other
I am not ready for this! I am not ready for my oldest to leave. I am trying to keep these moments in my head. He isn’t even half way through his senior year and I am already crying about it. I want to make sure he is going to be okay. Have I taught him enough? Does he cook well enough? Can he balance a check book or pay bills. I know by the time he goes and flies the coop Ryan and I will be worried and just want a phone call four times a day. That’s not too much to ask for is it? Ha! Hey maybe if we continue to pay his phone bill he will feel the need to call more ha!

So I totally went off in a direction I didn’t think I would go in. Basically I want to decorate now. October 28,2015 the whole house full of Christmas! I want a large tree (Maybe not as big as last time as we had to cut off 2 feet and it was still 10 feet tall). I want it to smell like Christmas and be Christmas longer.

Yes they are still my babies!!
Then Next year its Cassies last Christmas but it will be the year with her father. Then Joshua last Christmas will be with us and Jason’s last Christmas will be with his mother.

Insert Craziness …My third child Joshua who is 15 just said “Mom what are you doing?” I said I am working on my blog for tomorrow. He said “ If you make money I should get 25 percent because you have four kids and I am 25 percent of what you write about”. Then he laughed and walked off! Good Gracious I wished I made a lot of money off of blogs ha! He is a silly child!

So I guess in ending I will ask you…If you made it to the end of this blog comment below. What do you think about decorating early? Crazy or not? Think I can sneak something out each day till all the sudden it looks like Christmas blew up in my house? Tis the Season J

Found this gem

Our family pic last year
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Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Empty Nest Summer




Empty Nest Summer Syndrome? I guess this is what you would call my summer this year. Jackson and Jason left to go to their mom’s right after Graduation (as she came down for Jason’s). Cassie and Josh just left to go to their dads for the summer. I am childless…..and I don’t like it. I have to remember that this is the time that they get to have memories with their other parents so that calms my heart from missing them. I also get to refocus on my husband but mainly refocus on the things I like but never have the time for.

Jackson and Jason were visiting their Aunts while with their mom when we took Cassie and Josh to the airport. They have to go a couple states away so we always make sure to feed them and give them money for the one layover they have. You cannot let teenagers go hungry….you know which is literally every 5 minutes.  All you can eat Sushi is always a good choice. They can eat till they explode and it’s a onetime price of 15.00 each. Can’t beat that!






That reminds me and it’s kind of totally off the subject but I find it so funny that when we have two deep freezers full of food, the fridge to where you can’t fit anything more in it and a whole huge pantry of food that a teenager (probably only mine) asks WHEN we are going shopping because we have NOTHING to eat. Does anyone else get this too? Or is it just me? I am looking and thinking to myself that we could probably not buy a lick of food for a couple of months and still feed them every meal. I think it’s about the teenagers mind that if they don’t have a CERTAIN thing that they want to eat then there must be nothing to eat. Man…these kids are spoiled. They are going to really have a hard time in college when they get the college food menu of pizza and ramen ha! Actually because I coupon a lot my eldest son Jackson said he would pay me to coupon for him so he doesn’t starve to death in College. I see it now…They are going to shop in my pantry. You just watch and see. The “we never have food” is going to turn into “Mom you have too much food let me take it off your hands”.

Since the closest airport is 3.5 hours away we were lucky enough that MIL (Ryan’s mom Sally) stayed at our place to keep eye on animals and such so we could drop them off and not have to come back the same day. No one wants to spend 7 hours in the car….ok let me rephrase that. I don’t want to spend 7 hours in the car if I don’t have to.  I love to save money so we can spend it on other things so we got a hotel in Reno on Groupon for only $59.00 for a Suite at the Grand Sierra Resort and Casino. I love how casinos have the cheapest rates because they want you to gamble at their place. We don’t gamble so it makes it just a good deal for us!:) After the kids left had sushi and left on the plane we went to check in. Now what? It’s that sad feeling that all 4 kids are now gone and then that feeling of “
OMG let’s have a date night because we can”. Since all four kids live with us year round it’s a little different feeling than their other parent’s feel I am sure. I know it’s much more difficult for goodbyes for them.

We decided to wander around, shop a little and then go to a movie. When you live 80 miles from a movie theater going to a movie is a BIG thing! Heck we didn’t even know what was playing! We had to look up each movie and even see what it was about. Before moving to the ranch in the middle of nowhere we used to go to the movies every Tuesday night on the discount night. Now we are so thrilled just to see a movie on the big screen. It seriously cracks me up. THEN on top of it!!!! We went to a luxury theater and didn’t even know it. It was only 10 dollars to get it and it had seats that were recliners! I am still so amazed by this! My first thought was we have to take MIL to this when Jurassic Park comes out! My second thought was we have to bring the kids to this. This is amazing. So most of you probably have been to one of these. I HAD to take a picture haha! I mean when you buy the tickets you get to pick your seats. Assigned seating at a theater. At least you know when you bring a bunch of people you will all be together. I think I could live in this theater. Ok, maybe just maybe I am way too excited about this but it was awesome! Ryan and I loved it! As you can see we don’t go to a movie either unless you can have a huge thing of super buttery popcorn. I think going to the movies without popcorn is just so wrong ha!


We had a great time. Went to the Comedy SPY which was good. I love Melissa as an actress. It helped to take the bittersweet moments of the kids all being at the other parent’s house. We had a good romantic time together and were really thankful to MIL for watching the ranch for us. Next time we are going to go with her. I will do the 7 hours in the car so she can come too! So excited! IMAX Jurassic Park in Luxury Seats….I think I am drooling already….

The next day on the way home we had some errands to run and also stopped off at Home Depot to pick up a few things. I went crazy as usual and bought more plants. I always try to buy local when I can but these just called my name.  It was like my treat to be able to add more to my already growing garden. This is one of the things I am going to focus on when the kids are gone. By the time they come back it will be in full production of yummy veggies and fruits. I am always trying to come up with new ideas. I decided this time I am going to take a picture of the green house and the garden every Monday. Then at the end of summer make a video out of it and I can see how it grew week by week. So excited! I apparently get thrills out of the smallest ideas ha!

I

 

can tell though that I don’t know what to do with myself when I have no kids at the house because I start too many projects and start looking for more animals ha! I think I have that mothering nature where I want to nurture things all the time. The summer will fly by though and when the kids come back you just watch I will have to probably wear earplugs for a couple days because I won’t be used to all the noise. For now…I keep on music because it feels too deafening quiet. Shhh did you hear that? It’s my plants growing. Yep that’s how quiet it is while Ryan is at work and I am home.
 
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