Homecoming and Sad/Happy Tears

When you have four teenagers your life is dull. Ok, seriously did anyone believe me when I just said that? Because if you did you need to stop right now because you are living in some weird bubble somewhere and have never been around one teenagers let alone four ha!

This was homecoming night for the school and also senior night for the well…Seniors.

Events started at 4pm and ran till 10pm. We started out with Cassie having her Varsity Volleyball game. They looked so awesome in their outfits for Breast Cancer Awareness month. I loved calling Cassie name from the stands. She had Grandma (MIL), Nana Robin, Papa Pat and all of us cheering for her and the team. She kept giving us the “omg mom don’t embarrass me” look. Ha! Then they had JV Volleyball. After that everyone moved to the Football Field to the Homecoming game. Before the game they had senior night where they announce each senior playing Football and what they like and love and will miss. The seniors then go and give their parents a rose to say Thank you. We however thought this happened at half time. Ryan and I ran all the way back to the house because we brought the good camera but forgot to grab the battery. We wanted great pictures of all of this.

We actually got there JUST as the football game started. Got to the seats and sat down. We had a whole crew of us. Ryan’s Dad and other Mom were visiting from Texas just to come see this game (mind you we live In California), Mil was there as usual and then Ryan and I and the kids. After sitting down a good friend of mine came over and said we had missed the Senior part of the night. I was devastated. I thought that it was at half time like it usually is. They had changed it however because they were doing Homecoming at half time now. I didn’t realize that. Lets be honest…I broke into tears. I missed my one son doing Color Guard and my other son trying to show his gratitude. The part that hurt me as a parent the most is that I knew he was looking for us and we weren’t there. Josh wasn’t upset we missed Color Guard because he was doing the exact same thing a week later and we would see it and get great pictures. To him it wasn’t that big of a deal. He did amazing though and carried the American Flag. Friends gave me some pictures. I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him.

At this point you just have to say to yourself that there is nothing that could be done. So you just have to put a smile on your face and enjoy the game that your two boys are playing. Jackson who is a Senior this year and Jason who is a freshman. To have their grandparents there cheering them on along with their parents was pretty darn cool! They made some great plays and we heard Jacksons name over the loud speaker many times for great blocks to help the team get a touchdown. It was a great game! I wish Jason would have been able to play but being Senior night they let them play a lot more than usual even. I loved the small moments when Jason and Jackson were standing next to each other getting ready to go in.

Sidenote. Jason is #16 but didn’t want his own jersey as when Jackson graduates he is going to take his jersey. That’s why it doesn’t say Collins on the back of both of them. Jackson is #15 because that is his little brothers bday. Its just so cool.

So halftime events came up and all the sudden over the speaker I hear “ There is one Senior who wasn’t able to give his mom a rose as she just is a month out of brain surgery and got here in time for the game. Jackson collins…..go find your mother”. Jack ran from the field and came up to me to give me a rose. I look over and Sally (MIL) is bawling too! He hugged me, then Mil, then went down the line hugging his Nana Robin and Papa Pat and then his dad. He had tears in his eyes too! It was so special that we actually ended up not missing it. I was devastated when I thought I had. I am sure that Jack loved loved loved the extra attention since everyone in the stands was clapping and hooting. Made his day too!

He went out after and finished the second half with a storm. His spirits were high and we were all cheering like mad. It was a great event. I was so happy that Ryan’s Dad and other mom were able to be here. Not only did they get to see one child but they got to see all four of the teenagers doing something. I loved hearing how much they love our little town and how impressed they were of all the kids. It was fun introducing them to our friends and showing them around our town. We were lucky that they came to visit as Texas is a long ways away.

The night turned out great. We won the game and are now in playoffs for the Championships. Josh has another Color Guard for Veterans day and Cassie Volleyball season is coming to a close. It was a great day.

So, I don’t know if you are wondering how they knew that we weren’t there or how the announcement ended up coming over the loud speaker at half time right before Homecoming Court came out. Well at one point in the game my husband said he had to go to the car to get another SD card for the camera that we brought and missed everything for ha! He actually went up to the box and talked to the announcer about if they could redo that moment just for me. The town knows that I had surgery and this was my first real outing since then. It was important for me to be there for all four of my kids. I wouldn’t of missed it for the world. That’s true love. When you see that your wife and your child missed something that couldn’t be redone. He made it happen. I always tell him that he is my superhero. He truly is. We all were able to experience that event and it ended up being even more special because he decided to go talk to the announcer about it. I love the look on Jacksons grandparents faces. It was priceless. The look of crying or the look of how proud they were. I seriously cant believe I am going to be doing this three more times with my three other children in the next three years. Someone seriously help me! I am not going to be a good empty nester at all. Horrible in fact!

The night ended well. Everyone was happy and things always happen for a reason. Even if that reason ends up being your hubby making the night better for you and your son. I will forever remember that moment!

 

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Chrismas Decorating NOW?! (and why I am crying)

It’s the end of October and I want to decorate my whole house. Seems simple enough right? The small problem is I want to decorate it like a snowman threw up in it or like Santa sprinkled all his Christmas joy all over my house. It’s the end of October. I should be doing Halloween or Thanksgiving right?

Okay before you put me in some crazy psych ward, let me explain myself.

THIS IS MY LAST YEAR WITH ALL FOUR OF MY KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS WHILE THEY ARE ALL STILL LIVING AT OUR HOUSE!!

Deep Breathe! Sniffles. Wiping my tears away.

Josh, Jack, Cassie and Jason

My oldest child Jackson is a Senior this year. Cassie is a Junior. Joshua a Sophomore and then Jason a Freshman. Did I hear you just take a deep breathe with me? Or were you breathing hard because you just heard me say that my children are all in high school and there are four of them?

Jackson is planning on going into the military after High School. He has been wanting this for a couple years. He wants to work, serve our country and go to school all at the same time. Very proud of his decision. He didn’t have to do that but it was his decision and we are honored to have another service man in our family.

All grown up my baby! Jackson

Back to Christmas. I just keep thinking how this is our last Christmas while they all live with us together. I mean I know we will have them all later on in life too but for some reason in my heart this feels like a crazy big thing. Jackson!!! I don’t want you to leave yet!

Now because we are a blended family, even though the kids live with us full time they go to their other parent’s house on every other holiday. This year it so happens that Thanksgiving they are at their other family’s house but Christmas falls with us this year.

We don't know how to be normal

Maybe that’s why I am not even thinking about Thanksgiving much. Holidays just don’t seem like holidays without the kids. It’s a good quiet little vacation for Ryan and I though which is always nice.

So I want to decorate Christmas now. Is that really so wrong? I mean what if I didn’t have friends come over till after Thanksgiving? So I don’t get sent to some psych ward or something. I just feel like I have to really savor this Holiday. Just as I am sure Jackson’s mom will savior Thanksgiving with him.

We have so many plans for Christmas for the four kids this year. I can’t say them all as they won’t be surprised if they actually read this (I doubt they do ha). We want to do a small get away. We want to go visit Ryans family and my family. Have Christmas day at our house with stockings, goodies and a big dinner. I don’t know if they will remember this Christmas as I will be blinding them with the flash of the camera. My babies!!! The four of them!!! Before one of them tries to leave the nest.

I think when he goes off it will be my husband, his mom and I standing there crying! I might be holding onto his feet as he tries to go to Basic Training not willing to let my kid go. I seriously am tearing up right this second just thinking about it.

Jackson and I have had this amazing relationship. Its nice to have loved this child for the last almost 8 years. When I met him he was this little dorky 9 year old with big ears and a bigger grin. When he hugged me his head was at my chest level. He was so small and so skinny ha! Now he is almost 18, taller than I am. Grew into his ears, still has a goofy amazing smile. He stole my heart 8 years ago. I love him like he was mine to begin with. Ok! Crying again! Where are the tissues people?

Jack Coaching Youth Basketball

We are blessed to have brought four children together who love each other and see each other as real siblings. When I say “Go tell your brother he needs to dump the trash”. They will say “Which one”. We are VERY blessed! They don’t fight and get along. No I am not kidding it’s so true. I mean the only thing they do is pick on each other like normal brothers and sister. Even last night after dinner Ryan and I had gone upstairs to talk about an idea we had for Halloween. Didn’t want to talk in front of the kids because then they put their two or three or four cents worth as well they are teenagers. After talking one by one each of the kids started straggling into our room. First it was Jackson, then Cassie, then Jason and then Joshua. It ended up with us sitting as a family in our room just talking and eating snacks from my swaps. We talked about everything from why we won’t let them go to parties with alcohol even though we trust them not to drink to Halloween costumes to what they want to be when they grow up to what they would do in this or that situation. 2 hours went by and they were still talking and laughing. I didn’t want to take that moment away. I wanted to keep it in my head forever. All the sudden it was 930 and the kids started straggling out to get ready for bed. Some kept popping back in to ask a question here or there.

We are blessed they love each other

I am not ready for this! I am not ready for my oldest to leave. I am trying to keep these moments in my head. He isn’t even half way through his senior year and I am already crying about it. I want to make sure he is going to be okay. Have I taught him enough? Does he cook well enough? Can he balance a check book or pay bills. I know by the time he goes and flies the coop Ryan and I will be worried and just want a phone call four times a day. That’s not too much to ask for is it? Ha! Hey maybe if we continue to pay his phone bill he will feel the need to call more ha!

So I totally went off in a direction I didn’t think I would go in. Basically I want to decorate now. October 28,2015 the whole house full of Christmas! I want a large tree (Maybe not as big as last time as we had to cut off 2 feet and it was still 10 feet tall). I want it to smell like Christmas and be Christmas longer.

Yes they are still my babies!!

Then Next year its Cassies last Christmas but it will be the year with her father. Then Joshua last Christmas will be with us and Jason’s last Christmas will be with his mother.

Insert Craziness …My third child Joshua who is 15 just said “Mom what are you doing?” I said I am working on my blog for tomorrow. He said “ If you make money I should get 25 percent because you have four kids and I am 25 percent of what you write about”. Then he laughed and walked off! Good Gracious I wished I made a lot of money off of blogs ha! He is a silly child!

So I guess in ending I will ask you…If you made it to the end of this blog comment below. What do you think about decorating early? Crazy or not? Think I can sneak something out each day till all the sudden it looks like Christmas blew up in my house? Tis the Season J

Found this gem

Our family pic last year

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How to get GREAT DEALS on Sephora,Elf,Bath and Body works! (Christmas Ideas)

What is the first thing you would think of when someone is having to have bedrest for three weeks after a Pituitary Brain Surgery? Health...Rest...Recovery Right?

Well Dang it! I have become addicted to online shopping! That's what happens when you are in bed with the internet and bored out of your mind. Mind you! We don't own Credit Cards. We are all Cash and Carry so I do limit myself. My husband and I talk about what we feel is appropriate and then I don't surpass that amount. Just because I am addicted doesn't mean that I am going too crazy in the area of spending.

I am a deal girl! Its all about finding deals of the items that I want. Its all about finding coupon codes after even to make even more of a deal. Let me give you an example. I shop for my swaps and also for my family.

This 6 bottles of lotions and bath gels (which are divine I might add) were buy three and get three free! I was all over that! They are approx $12 dollars each. So let me do some math in my head.  So $72 dollars but since getting three free that brings to 36 dollars. I always wait till that sale. THEN because my stuff was originally over 50 dollars its free shipping on top of that. So you are thinking "GREAT DEAL RAE" but nooooooooooooo its not enough for me. So I look on the internet for coupon codes or I look in my basket of coupons from ordering there before and I find a coupon that is FREE ITEM OF YOUR CHOICE with any purchase of $15 up to $13 dollar value. I punch in the code and now I am paying $23. We have gone from amazing scented Bath and Body Works American Brand yumminess that started out at $72 dollars and is now $23. Looks like I am spending tons but nope....I refuse to pay full price:) I get full price worth of the stuff though for my daughter, MIL and I. Oh and get this! When the box came I got four more coupons! :) For my future swaps who might want Bath and Body Works.

Then their is Sephora! Ooooh High End Cosmetics! Goes on smooth and stays on beautifully. I love looking at the Sephora site and seeing some of the deals. Recently I got some great Too Faced Products in the cutest little doll house box ever! It is called Le Grand Chateau which is NEW and Limited Edition. Its Originally $215 dollars but on sale for $49.00 and you can add a coupon code to even lower that price. My Swapper wanted one once I showed her so I bought that for her. Its awesome when you have a price limit on your swap and are able to get them so much more bang for their buck. Its on the Sephora.com site if you want to check it out. Remember to click on the add ons and get free trials of perfumes shown below by using the code FALLFAVS

I think my biggest haul however was my ELF haul. ELF is not high end make up but rather drug store make-up. It has some great products and some that I am not that fond of. BUT!!!! My friend Lesley found me a great deal. Elf was having a sale and might still be having a sale where many of their products ranging from $3-$10 were ALL on sale for $1 each! What? Did you hear me right? YES ONE DOLLAR EACH! Well I have a daughter, my MIL and my swappers who would LOVE to have some of that. I went a little crazy and bought 90 things. Normally it would be over $450 dollars but I got it for $90. Then I looked online like I always do and found a coupon code. I ended up paying $53 dollars for $450 dollars worth of products. If you would like to do that also go to Sales  on www.eyeslipsface.com and get 50 Percent off your order with the Coupon Code "HELLO" if that is still running otherwise it will give you free shipping. I hope you go and get some too. This is my stash of stuff. 3/4 of it is already given away to my family and swappers. Like I said before though! More bang for your buck!

I wanted to share some of my secrets and get it so you guys can get some of the stuff yourself also. I am now off bed rest from my surgery. I am looking for more deals though daily on my times of resting. I love shopping for others and getting some items for myself also. LOVE it! Already finished my shopping for my nieces and nephew and BFF kids too. I feel like I am ahead of the game so far!

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Imprisoned? I am breaking out!

For three weeks I have been imprisoned to my bed! Ok its not THAT dramatic. I had two surgeries on October 1, 2015. Pituitary Surgery to remove a Brain Adenoma and then sinus surgery. It was a two for one special. Since I had both surgeries the doctors told me strict bed rest for three weeks.

Its week 2 and 5 days! I cant do it anymore!!! Its funny how people will say to me that they would love to stay in bed for three weeks. It drives me totally crazy. There is only so much cooking channel (which I love) and being on Facebook that I can do without going mad insane.

So I decided today that I am going against the system and being a rebel! By being a rebel I mean sitting in other places of my home and taking a cart ride to see all my animals that I haven't even seen  (besides the dogs) since my homecoming. Don't worry all my babies have been well taken care of by my family.

I have to admit if I am going to be stuck in bed its nice that I haven't had to worry about cooking, cleaning or laundry. My MIL has been here with us helping and making delicious meals each day. I told her that she is acting like she is our maid. I hate that but she said she is bored and likes it. Makes me feel bad. Even though I appreciate it a lot! We couldn't do it as easily without her being here. Makes it so Ryan can work and the kids still are under watchful eye of all of us.

So today I am being a rebel. Tomorrow you will get great pictures of all my  fur babies! I fully know that I will tire myself and want my bed back by midday. Mil and Ryan are letting me up and about....we will see how long it lasts. I think I can at least make it till noon! Ha!

Its pretty bad that at 39 being a rebel for me is getting out of my bed. One more week and 2 days and I will be all over the place so watch out people! :)

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Why was I MIA for a month?

Long story short....I was kidnapped and taken to an exotic place to have an amazing time. Ok Wake up RAE! That is not what happened! As you all know I have Cushings Disease. Its a tumor that secrets this crazy amount of Cortisol in my body. I have gained obscene amount of weight, lost muscle, have extremely high blood pressure, pre diabetic, and the list goes on. All because of this crazy 4mm tumor on my pituitary.

Lets make this story short okay or your eyes might roll into the back of your head like mine practically did. I was headed to Texas from California for my Brain Surgery. 3 hours before we were leaving to go to the airport I get a call from the hospital and said my insurance (which they had for a month) would not pay for out of state. NOW you tell me???

Sobbing, crying, sniffing, and then picking myself up off the floor I started to make another plan.

Long story short.... Looking at tons of Neurosurgeons we find Dr. Kelly in Santa Monica who is the head of all Neurosurgery there and had TOP RATINGS! So I contact him. God was in my corner as usual and he said he would see me. He has a waiting list but he would see me. He would have to make his endo see me, he would have to see me etc to diagnose me himself with Cushings.

Again long story short. MIL watched the teens and we headed out to Santa Monica only expecting to be gone 1 week for testing, and seeing all the doctors, new MRI, cat scans etc. While we were there though he scheduled surgery (YAH!) It was still a couple days away but not really enough time to drive 13 hours back and then come back again. So MIL said to stay. Between my dad and stepmom, MIL and my husband I everything got taken care of so I could have my surgery.

October 1st I had surgery. Oct 2nd my cortisol plummeted. I was in remission! That tumor was gone! I had the best team of doctors anyone could even ask for! I cannot even express how thorough and amazing that team was!!! I do not have high blood pressure anymore, not diabetic, lost 15 pounds in one week, and slowly will gain muscle back. I am sure I am missing a lot of important details but I just wanted to get all of you back on track to where I am at now.

Did help that we had gotten a vacation rental to stay in while recovering and while we were doing all the testing in Venice Ca. Nice to be able to hear the ocean and we got a mini vacation before hand which will be another blog. :)

I am in remission! I am so thankful! I will be resting and getting better day by day! 3 weeks in bed to start with and I am only on week two. I finally put make up on because its my husbands bday. ha! So that is where I have been. Tried to make it short and sweet and to the point. I am going to write a blog when I am feeling better that's more detailed as I am not really suppose to be up yet but I snuck downstairs while everyone was sleeping this morning. Better get back to bed before the MIL comes after me :) PS she saved our lives watching four teenagers for 3 weeks!

(Caution Pics) Cushings Surgery

Deep Breathe! Deep Breathe! In just a couple days I am leaving from California to Texas to go and have my second pituitary surgery. Drat Tumor! This time its a little easier on my mind and my body because I have done this already once. I don't have the anxiety of the unknown this time.

In July 2014 I had my first pituitary surgery. They found two tumors and got all of it out. I was able to go into remission which was fantastic. 10 months later I had another tumor in a different spot on my pituitary.  Its a slow recovery process. I will be in the hospital for 4 days if all goes well. Then I will be able to fly back home on day 7. I am praying that I go into remission again. From all that I have read and learned your second surgery is 50/50 on that.

Some may think that its an easy surgery because you look pretty normal within a week. That's because its a Transsphenoidal Surgery and they go up your nose, through your scull to the pituitary that way. It definitely beats them opening up your head. This doesn't mean it isn't a brain surgery though. The doctors ARE going into your Brain.

Recovery can be very long. If surgery is successful you will feel like CRAP. This is something you actually want. It means your cortisol levels have dropped down to normal levels of normal ppl. With having high Cortisol it is affecting our bodies in so many ways. Not having it all the sudden is like a body going through drug withdrawal. Except this "drug" is actually a hormone that our bodies have been creating too much of.

My tumor is only 2mm by 3mm by 3mm. Small right? So why would it be a problem right? Well it reeks havoc like nobodies business on my body. I have lost hair, grown hair in weird places, gained weight, lost strength, have horrible insomnia, bruising, mood swings and the list goes on. All from this little tiny tumor. Most MRI don't even show them that's why you have to get a T3 Mri.

Well in less than a week I will be having this surgery. Like I said I have done it before. I still have some pictures from my first surgery so I will show you. I probably wont be blogging for a week or so as I wont want to be starring at a screen as much. I would super appreciate any good thoughts or prayers for remission and a fast recovery. I want to beat this....once and for all!

going into surgery

just out of surgery

3 days later husband being supportive

Swaps and Pituitary Surgery

What do you do when you have 7 days till Pituitary Brain Surgery? Well you do a SWAP of course!

Some of the items I sent to UK

In one week I will be going to Houston Texas to MD Anderson to have my surgery. I had this same surgery 14 months ago also. I have Cushing's which is a Rare Disease. Cushing's makes you gain weight, have a buffalo hump, moon face, striae, insomnia, mood swings, muscle loss, bruising etc. Sounds fun right? NOT! I have a pituitary tumor that creates too much Cortisol in my body. I had two tumors over a year ago. Had Surgery and went into remission for 10 months roughly before I ended up with another tumor. I am going to fly from California to Texas (halfway across the USA) because is an amazing hospital and the Surgeon does these surgeries all the time.

Pictures of my last Pituitary Surgery

I have had a headache now for 10 days straight. Last night was the worst but its starting to go down a bit finally. Some people might get depressed waiting for the surgery to cause them remission again. I have decided to have a little bit of fun instead. Let me tell you about it.

A Cushie friend of mine Carly and I have been talking a lot during the night when I cant sleep. She is going through the same things that I am. She told me about this International Swap Group and how fun it was. I told her I would love to join. The jest of it is you swap things from your country to their country. Things they are looking for or are interested in. The first swap is 50 dollars (USA) and then mailing the package. You get one swap partner. Send out the package and they send you one from their country as well.

Lesley chose me. She is from the UK. We started talking, took this detailed quiz of our likes and dislikes and asked each other what would be fun to swap. We both went to our local grocery stores and took pictures of things and sent them to each other to see what would look good to us. Along the way we talk and learn about each other. I have found out that she is an avid lover of animals like I am. We actually have a lot in common and talk a lot. We even send each other sneak peaks of what is in the boxes. Its interesting to see what someone would want from the USA. Bath and Body works is something that is really wanted. Along with MAC and Ulta or Sephora make up. You chose a day you are going to send and then both send at same time. Once that swap is complete and both people have their boxes then you can chose to swap with someone else.

Some of the goodies I am getting I am so excited!

I like the fact that they have a detailed quiz and lot of rules to the group. This helps with getting things you like and not things you dislike. For instance I cannot stand the smell or taste of watermelon. It would be disappointing to get things that are all watermelon. I like that I can get postcards for my kids and also learn about the country through that person. Its so fun!

It is good timing too. When I get back from surgery I will have a box to open. How great will that be! I will be in bed for quite some time so the snacks will be helpful and just the fun of having mail. I really love to get old fashioned mail. Makes me feel really special.

I am actually doing another swap with a friend that's off the group just to have a little more fun. I think my favorite part of it is trying to surprise them with goodies. I love shopping for others! Its so fun! Since we live in a rural place though I think my post office had a learning lesson on how to ship fast to another country lol.

This is my new hobby that I am going to just love. I think its great for my family to try new things also from different countries. I cant wait to swap with France or Australia. Pineapple lumps look really good and I want to try some :)

If you have the money or the time to do a swap I would totally suggest it. Its good clean fun and you get to meet some fantastic people! Hey....If you ever want to do a swap with me...I would love that too!

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