I have a big mouth! So many times this week did my BIG Mouth
help me though? I spent 5 days in a hotel this week with WIFI and a Jacuzzi.
Sounds divine huh? Well I spent it half way alone, peeing in a jug, getting my
blood drawn and not sleeping. When you live out in a rural place having WIFI is
a treatJ
I went to stay at a hotel because I was testing for Cushing’s
again. A Rare Disease that creates too much cortisol in your body. When I am in
a “High” of this thing my body is creating I don’t sleep, I gained 12 pounds in
5 days, I am irritable (wouldn’t you be with 2 hours a night for days?) and my
whole body feels like its under attack from stress. I had 12 tests and an MRI
to complete so I decided I would stay in Redding to do them. Hey they have a Jacuzzi
in the room (free upgrade got to love that) and baths help my super antsy legs
during a High. Its important for me to test ONLY when in a high however so I
went there to stay so I didn’t have to drive 2 hours there to drop off labs and
2 hours back every single day with no sleep. Ryan and I decided it was a good
idea. This time around I told him I could do it by myself because someone had
to work and take care of all of our animals. He called and text me all the time
to make sure I was okay.
I decided I wanted to do this by myself this time. I didn’t want
other people’s schedules to have to change. I couldn’t sleep anyways so being
able to bathe or watch tv or yell at the pillow for not letting me sleep is
more conducive to when you are alone. I
kept my chin up and told myself I can do this! I can do it alone! I am not
scared like I was the first time around because this is a reoccurrence. I don’t
need the hand holding as much. My MIL told me she would come up and stay with
me but I declined. I get irritable and don’t want to take it out on anyone
without knowing. Ryan would have done it too in a flash but I thought it was
better for him to continue working. I will need him later for sure.
So, How is my mouth big and how did it help me numerous
times? First I would like to say that when you are on day 5 of 2 hours of sleep
and going to get lunch and bring back to the Rapunzel tower (what I called my
hotel room since I locked myself away) the last thing you want to do is be
scared. So I was sitting at a stoplight waiting to turn to go back to the
hotel. A guy in a clown’s outfit that was looking pretty jittery started
walking like he was going to cross the street. He came up to my car door,
started pounding and trying to get into my car saying he needed a ride. I
started screaming at him (swear my mouth was completely open screaming) and
honking my horn over and over. Thankfully my car doors automatically lock. That
scared me so bad that I wanted ruby red slippers to click two times and send me
back to my little rural town of no clowns or drug addicts! Who was the first
person I called? My husband lol. He told me to call the police. Thankfully this
happened on the 5th day when Ryan got a person to watch all our
animals and it was the weekend so he could come up. I am thankful he came up
that day. Besides missing him…I secretly was happy to have my protector!
I decided since I was up for days that I wanted to use my
Big Mouth for good. I did a couple VLOGS on symptoms and also ones on where to
find support for Cushing’s.. Might as well use what is going on with me for
good. I really want to help others. It’s the one thing that makes me feel okay
about having a reoccurrence and Cushing’s again. I feel such immense support
from my Cushies too. They help me on a daily basis. Here are the two links to
see the videos that I made.
https://youtu.be/9yBUYYIEkS8 Cushings Symptoms and my Symptoms
I did have fun being able to connect with Cushies online and
laughing with things that weren’t medically related. I was excited I had Starbucks!
Hey we live 70 miles from the nearest Starbucks. I am not going to lie I had
taco bell salad bowl twice too! My son Jackson would be so proud because he
loves Taco Bell and I generally am not a fan. I did read a book and do a lot of
Jacuzzi tub relaxing to try to help me sleep. I am thankful I have such support
from my friends and family. I guess I say to myself I am doing this alone but I
am nowhere doing any of it alone. I have a lot of support. If I said I didn’t want
to be there by myself at any time I know some people who would have been there
right away. People close to my heart.
So the last day I needed to get my Mri. Ryan came down late
the night before. We went to the movie Trainwreck. Not a kid’s movie! Dang
though it was SO FUNNY!!! I think I have a woman crush on Amy Schumer because
she is so so funny. That movie cracked me up. I seriously snorted at the end of
it. Yep! I laughed so hard I snorted. I admit it. It’s because my mouth is too
big ha.
The weeks been long but its over now. Mri is done and today
I found out I have another tumor. I do indeed have to wait for all my test
results to come back but at least we have a target. I should be happy I have a
target. The first time I was so excited I had a tumor. I know that sounds crazy
but it was my way of verifying that I wasn’t crazy and that all these symptoms
were real and came from this pesky thing. This time around I am not happy. I don’t
want to have to do this all over again. Brain Surgeries aren’t my fav ha! I am
going to be strong though. I am not as scared this time. It’s okay for me to
have one day of breaking down, crying and being upset. Tomorrow though I will
be back on my game! I have great support and that helps me a lot. I have God
which helps me even moreJ
I have things to look forward to this week so this is going to have to just
wait.
This weekend is going to be super exciting. One…..I am going
to an amazing ladies wedding! So excited for her. Even more excited that she
asked me to make the cupcakes for it. This is a very cute couple that will
seriously enjoy happily ever after. Secondly and my best ever thing is….MY KIDS
COME BACK! They have been gone all summer at their other parent’s house. I need
my teenagers. I love them and miss them so much its insane! I am going to be so
excited! I can’t wait for the chatter to begin. I need to remember how to cook
for 6 again and not 2 ha! They are my prides and joys my four teenagers and I can’t
wait to see them. There is always a
silver lining. I just have to make sure that I keep the positive as my focus. I
will too. I am going to beat this! I am not afraid! If anyone should be afraid
it should be my MIL (mother in law) because when/if I have surgery she will
have to watch all the kids. She should be very afraid haha! I know you are
reading this…I love you!
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